Yan's Corner - In Touch

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Be My V.A.L.E.N.T.I.N.E - all year long!

The first time I “celebrated” Valentine’s Day was when Rachel suggested that daddy and mummy went for a Valentine Candle Light dinner while she looked after Chris. She was then 6 and Chris, 1.

We did not go for a candle light dinner. My significant other bought some chocolates. Chocolates has never been my favourite, so the father-daughter team finished all. For that thoughtful suggestion of a romantic night for daddy and mummy, Rachel was rewarded with chocolates. And from that day on, she receives chocolate surprises now and then from daddy.

Over the years, my significant other would buy some gifts to show his love and affection.

One year, he went to England and came back with two skirts and two blouses from St. Michael. It was the first time he bought clothes for me. It turned out to be disastrous. He bought three sizes bigger. While I was shocked, I also thought that he would not mind me growing another three sizes bigger even when I am already over-sized. That warmed my heart. I still keep the clothes. Perhaps one day, I would be able to wear that!

Another year, he went to England again and came back with shoes also two sizes bigger. It took me quite a while to find the Cinderella to fit the shoes and gave them away. It was not cheap. I could not keep the leather shoes hoping that one day my feet would grow bigger! I jokingly told him that it was lucky that I could not wear or I would have "walked out of his life"!

Other years, he bought pearl necklace, chocolates, candies …. but no roses yet. Other times if he did not pick up any present, he would give a hug. Then the two children would always go, “Yeah! Me next!”

Such were the fun of Valentine's Day. However, I am romantically impaired. All the roses around the feet are transparent. I have never been attracted to them. All the candlelight set dinners are too expensive to waste money during valentine day. My gifts are limited to books, cards, CDs, cross-stitches I made and home-cook food. I am more a practical person.

I do not like to stick to routine. Or perhaps, I always do the opposite. When everyone is having new clothes for new year, I wear the usual clothes. When everyone is going for new hairstyle, there has never been a time that I change to a new hairstyle for new year. So, giving gifts on Valentine’s Day is definitely out of question.

What’s so special about Valentine’s Day this year then?

Yeah, it’s my blog’s anniversary!

It was last year I started this blog. I remember writing about a young charming journalist believing that the young bud in a vase on her table would blossom. Even when her colleague laughed at her that no beautiful flower would come from the bud, she insisted that within every bud there is a rose.

I do not know whether the young bud on her table blossomed later. But, over the year, this young journalist blossoms! She has won many prizes over the past year. She has written many delightful and touching articles that bring out the good in everything she has explored. The rose within her has blossomed many times over.

There is this journalist who suffers from insomnia for many years. For several years, he could never attend my morning meeting. Over the year, with much coaching and encouragement, he has been making presence at my morning meeting regularly and contributing ideas. He has made tremendous improvement in his work winning many prizes.

Yes, within every soul there is a rose … there is always something good in store in someone. It only takes love and living to nurture that good and bring it out.

Valentine’s Day is about living together in the Lord in a loving marriage relationship for husbands and wives. It is about a loving lifestyle of intentional, sacrificial commitment to each other, whether lovers, husbands and wives, friends and community members. It is also about loving oneself, nurturing the good in oneself.

C.S. Lewis talks about the event of falling in love in his book, The Four Loves. He says,

In one high bound it has overleaped the massive all of our selfhood; it has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests of another in the centre of our being.

That really means love another person. It’s more than roses, chocolates, cakes, candlelight dinner, diamonds ….. It’s more than the ability to accept the oversized dresses and shoes with a laugh.

We live in days of tremendous personal isolation, insulation and little tolerance. Demonstrations of affection are sadly lacking. The danger most of us face is showing too little rather than too much affection and have no commitment in any relationship.

Loving involves much more than making them happy on Valentine’s Day, it involves a commitment that can surmount any hurdle, a commitment that can survive any sorrow, a commitment that will last forever. Husbands and wives who give gifts to each on Valentine’s Day but are untrue to one another would not be people who know what love is all about. Husband and wives who are good at bringing momentary happiness but fail to stay committed over the long term would not be people who know what love is really all about.

Remember how C.S. Lewis defined what it means to fall in love? It is relationship marked by the kind of selflessness, altruism and concern for others. Such relationships are all humanly impossible.

Yes, it is humanly impossible apart from the grace of God at work among us, changing us.

Be my V. A. L. E. T. I. N. E, all year long.

V for my venture into the blogging world trying to make some sense in

every day’s life issues

A for the abundance of blessings from above and from friends

in this blogging world

L for the laughter, love and labour

E for the encouragement throughout the year

N for the nurture

T for the time spent exchanging conversations

I for making me feel important

N for meeting my every needs

E for empathizing with me in many situations

From your Valentine!

15 comment(s):

That's lovely. Thanks for the spirit-lifting posting on Valentine Day. You are just beautiful beyond description!

Like that - Roses Around The Feet! I love this song too.


By Anonymous pt, at 5:05 am  

Lovely post as usual Yan - Happy Blog Anniversary!
Do make sure you equip hubby with your shoe and dress size the next time he goes overseas. ;)

By Blogger dobbs, at 8:44 am  

Thanks for an uplifting post -- people in Sarawak truly need such
spirits in such challenging times!
A "reprise" just to add, IMHO, the quintessential Love Song --
you gifted Desi with Sir Cliff Richard's rendition for a few humble works? I suggest you serenade your significant half tonite, with wits(lift)taker chocs2!:

The Tweflth of Never

You ask how much I need you-ou
Must I explain
I-I need you oh my darlin'
Like roses nee-eed rain
You ask how long I'll love you
I-I'll tell you true
Until the twelfth of never
I'll still be loving you

Ho-old me close
Never let me go
Ho-ho-old me clo-ose
Me-elt my heart like April snow-ow

I'll love you 'til the blue be-ells
Forget to bloom
I'll love you 'til the clover
Has lost its perfume
I-I'll love you 'til the poe-ets
Run out of rhyme
U-u-until the twelfth of never
And that's a long lo-ong time

Until the twelfth of never
And that's - a - long - long - time...
A long-long time...

By Blogger desiderata, at 10:50 am  

Happy Valentine, Yan.

I'm just beginning to learn about Valentine, hope it's not too late.

By Blogger Joepsc, at 11:09 am  

Happy birthday to your blog! I think the best time to celebrate Valentine's is the day after - then you'll get what's worth your money:) But then again, everyday should be Valentine's :)

By Blogger YingKs, at 12:21 pm  

Happy anniversary, happy valentine! I am also not one for chocs; a reasonably big bag of Kit Kats will do for me.

By Blogger fishtail, at 1:08 pm  

I remember our teenage days when someone behaved like this -

If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll bite
I'll cry aloud, I'll start to whine
If you won't be my Valentine
I'll frown and fret
I'll mope and pine and
It will serve you right
If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll yell. I'll bite.

Those were the good old days.

Happy Valentine's Day.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:28 pm  


Thank you. You have been a wonderful friend.

Hope you have roses, chocolates, candlelight dinner, and everything today.

Tomorrow you still can enjoy them at discounted rate.


By Blogger Yan, at 9:33 pm  


I drew a shoe impression for him to bring to UK. He thought it was the foot impression! Ha, communication breakdown!

It's always good to be able to have a good laugh.

Happy Valentine Day!


By Blogger Yan, at 9:35 pm  

Thanks, Desi, for the suggestion.

I added in Channel 70 of Astro as my gift to him. So, he could have fun and varieties with the TV.

Do you know that he who holds the remote control of Astro is the master of the house?

This is Valentine's Day musings.


By Blogger Yan, at 9:42 pm  


It's never too late. What have you learnt about Valentine? Roses? Chocolates? High-Tech gifts?

Happy Valentine's Day.


By Blogger Yan, at 9:43 pm  


Thank you for reminding. I have passed the message to my friend, pt!

May be I would check out how much a rose costs tomorrow. Then, we shall celebrate Valentine's Day a day after. Yeah!


By Blogger Yan, at 9:45 pm  


KitKat for a break? Not for Valentine's Day lah.

I have one box of chocolate called "Merci" in front of me. Does not sound suitable for Valentine too.


By Blogger Yan, at 9:47 pm  


Don't scream, don't bite, don't despair. Move on to the next one in the row. There would be someone who wants to be your Valentine!


By Blogger Yan, at 9:49 pm  

Thanks for the greeting Yan.

By Anonymous Yasser, at 7:31 am  

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