Yan's Corner - In Touch

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Tuning our life

It is better to go to a house of mourning then to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. - Ecclesiates 7: 2 (NIV)

Kalimullah or Datuk Kalimullah's Sunday Column in NST is one of my "must-read" columns. He talks about family, about friends, about old memories - each one warms my sometime-turn-cold heart, and definitely soothes my troubled minds. Last Sunday he talked about his friends, especially his friend, Jack who had just passed away. I was touched, as always, by his thoughts.

Yes, friends we have. Friends who had left us ...

I went to a church's friend memorial service yesterday evening. Late Mrs Ding was a church sister, also a relative of my husband's family. My memory of her went back to at least 19 years ago. I was then a young girl, timid, reserved and not outgoing. One fine morning, I visited her office to get some documents to be signed by her elder brother, also her boss. I took her parking lot without knowing that. So, she parked her car right at the back of my car. If she did not move her car, I would not be able to get out. I was made to wait till lunch time despite my requests, my apologies and my pleadings.

I did not harbour any hatred. But, I remember that incident. A few weeks before her sudden death, she invited my husband to a dinner and explained to my husband of her actions for clarification. She also conveyed her apologies.

I did not have a chance to tell her that I really did not harbour any hatred. When my husband relayed the message to me, she has left for London and she never returned.

At the memorial service yesterday, Mrs Ding was remembered by friends as "ever-ready" to help, especially to the poor and needy. She was remembered as a friend who would always walked that extra mile, she was remembered as a friend in need.

Death means the end of the power to do good. Death means the lifting of the pen from the pages of their lives. As Ecclesiates says, it is good for the living to take death to heart, for then they will live more exceptional lives.

Winston Churchill once wrote -

When the notes of life ring false, men should correct them by referring to the tunning fork of death.

Mrs Ding has lived life to the service of others. As she looked back of her life from the edge of her grave, she would have been pleased that many have considered her as a friend indeed, that many have praised her living a meaningful and deep life, many have praises for her to have a great passion to glorify God and fulfilled her destiny, that many have testified that she had made a difference in their lives, that many have agreed that she had given generously to friends and to the Church, to the community and devoted herself to God.

Will we be pleased when we looked back at our life from the edge of our grave?

Tune our life so that we can "live a life that is truly life".

1 comment(s):

Hi Yan:

Thanks for sharing a 'rvealing" lesson on friendship.

Like thee, I read KM's piece on Friendship and his quote of being lucky enough if one earns the number of friends equal to the number of fingers on one's hand.

I recently earned a couple, including one whose nick I'm more familiar with as it reminds desi always of the yen for life! Thanks for a few others I proceeded to count the fingers on the "other" hand.

Belated entry here -- June 27 -- read my Post today, and a little apologies I had to share the OTHER pole of friendship's end.

By Blogger desiderata, at 12:10 pm  

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